Break-ups are tough in general, but they can be even more complicated when the person you broke up with was an addict. This is because you can be left with intense feelings of guilt, regret, anger, and sadness for very specific reasons that differ from other relationships. Here are four completely normal things that may plague you after you’ve broken up with an addict.
- Intense worry that they may relapse or even die from their drug of choice: It may have been a thought that also crossed your mind when you were together, but now that you have virtually no say in your dynamic, you may experience feelings of complete helplessness as it pertains to your ex’s recovery. You may fear that they may be triggered to use again and this time, more intensely because of the break-up…Or you may feel as though you were the glue that held their sobriety together in the first place and worry what you’re going to do after you’re gone. Don’t let this dread overwhelm you. It’s a natural thought process, but ultimately, the two of you are adults completely responsible for your own lives. Yes, it is scary to think they may do something stupid like overdose because of the stress of a break-up, but that’s out of your control. If it makes you feel better, inform your mutual friends or close friends of theirs after your split so at least you invite other people to help your struggling partner.
- Anger, and lots of it: Perhaps in your relationship with this person, months, years, or decades have gone by where you’ve put 150% effort in and hardly got much back. You may have realized how much time you lost investing in a relationship with a person who was incapable of truly reciprocating, so you become angry at yourself. You may feel as though all your efforts to help this person have been completely in vain, which is also disappointing. Use the anger to your advantage…Use it as fuel beneath your wings to soar towards a better opportunity that will provide more satisfaction for yourself.
- Depression: Simply put, you felt like you and your love weren’t enough for the other person to quit. This can make you feel down beyond belief and may cause you to question your own self-worth. Read more about this specific concept in my article here.
- Regret: Looking back, especially after you’ve been introduced to resources like this that can give you more insight, you may find yourself filled with regrets of things you could have or should have done better. Always remember that hindsight is 20/20 and that you tried your best with what you knew at the time.
Don’t let this break-up completely wreck you. Seek professional help if you feel you can’t get out of this funk on your own, or consider submitting an article sharing your own story to this blog as a therapeutic release.