If you’ve ever been with an addict, you know that if they ever have an extra $40 in their wallet, that money’s pretty much guaranteed to go into feeding their addiction instead of taking you out, buying you little gifts, or putting it into your savings.
It feels awful, and rightfully so. Not only are you trying the best you can to be a supportive spouse, but it seems like you aren’t getting much back in return. The relationship, in more ways than just this little financial example, is starting to feel like you’re giving 150% while they’re giving it 50%.
Undoubtedly, this will make it difficult, if not impossible at times, to feel “romantic”. No one likes to feel like they’re taken for granted or putting more work in than the other partner, even if this isn’t necessarily the case.
Here are three things you can do to try and bring back the romance while your partner is still on their journey from recovering from drugs:
- Try low-budget activities that involve spending quality time out in nature. Hiking, riding bikes, or even just packing a picnic out are all great ideas. Being outdoors in an environment of your choice can bring you much needed comfort, relaxation, and inspiration that will undoubtedly add fuel to the fire as it comes to romance. The memories you two share and nature can bring a welcome, therapeutic change to your dynamic and can ultimately ground you two so that you’re reconnected to what’s important in life (love).
- Try not to take your partner’s behavior personally. I write “try” because it can be very difficult at times…or even if you acknowledge their behavior isn’t personal, it may be hard to accept it. But encouraging yourself to give them the benefit of the doubt and trying to see the things they do for you instead of all the things they don’t do can be a great remedy on your quest to bring back the romance.
- Take a trip down memory lane. Read old love letters to each other, listen to records that remind the two of you of simpler times, watch movies you saw together at the beginning of your courtship, spend time with friends you haven’t seen in a while…This may bring up lots of emotions, but it will definitely reconnect the two of you to why and how you fell in love in the first place.